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Improve Any Relationship

All relationships are based on how you communicate with our partners, family and other people and lets face it, we all, myself included, could be a lot better at this. By improving how you communicate with other people you will improve relationships, build rapport and gain a deeper level of understanding about how they feel. NLP can be used to enhance and improve this.

By paying more attention to what people are saying both verbally and non-verbally, not just in their words or actions, but also by the underlying message in their communication you will build a greater understanding and connection with the person.

Imagine you are a cameraman taking pictures with your eyes of a beautiful model, watching their every movement but also absorbing every word, imagine how special that would make the other person feel. You will focus not just on the words they use Camera20but how they use them, vocal tonality, pitch, speed and volume, as well as how they emphasise certain words, all play important factors in what is being communicated. Remember it has been said when we communicate face to face with others 93% of our message comes from our tone of voice and body language non-verbally, with only 7% coming from the words we use.

So to improve relationships make an effort to look at the person who is talking to you and actively listen to what they are saying. You will be amazed at the effect this has on the person who is talking and how much more you will understand what they are trying to say. After all good relationships are about how well we know and like the other person.

One final warning, actively listening and looking at the other person will make you more attractive to them, as a friend, partner or potential partner, so remember what outcome you want from your conversation.

If You like this website please feel free to share it with your friends by clicking on the share with Facebook or Twitter buttons below or why not sign up for my mailing list and I’ll keep you up to date with what’s happening.

Regards

Jason J Scoltock

 

 

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The Secret Other Use of a Mirror

It amazes me that so many people have misunderstood how to use a mirror and let it impact on their self-esteem. It’s simple you look in it and what you see is your reflection, Its primary use should be things like; making sure your hair is neat, you haven’t got your breakfast on your face or to allow you to apply makeup. How this secret got lost over the ages I don’t know.

In Victorian times  a mirror was called a Looking Glass. I have never heard it called one but in modern times it is my belief that it has become a “Thinking Glass”. How often have you looked at your self in the mirror and thought something like “I look fat” or “I am ugly” or “this makes me look bad” worse still you attach real emotion to it, you probably do it just before you leave the house to go to work, school, a social event. Your routine is setting you up to start the next  phase of your day with low self-esteem and a negative attitude.

The good news is you don’t have to break every mirror in your house (which wouldn’t bring you bad Luck – Post coming soon)  instead all you have to do is break the habit. The next time you look in the mirror find one thing to be grateful for, anything at all. It would be great if you could see something in your reflection that you are grateful for but if you can’t for now find something to be grateful for even it’s just the fresh air you breath or sun in the sky. Keep doing this every time you look in the mirror, try and find something new everytime and you will find that not only will your self-esteem improve but you will enter the next phase of your day in a more positive and happy mood.

So in future when you are in front of a mirror and starting to think negative thoughts, Stop say to yourself this is a “Looking Glass not a Thinking Glass” find something to be grateful for no matter how small and eventually if you do this enough you will see how beautiful you really are.

If You like this website please feel free to share it with your friends by clicking on the share with Facebook or Twitter buttons below or why not sign up for my mailing list and I’ll keep you up to date with whats happening.

Regards

Jason J Scoltock

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How to Break Any Habit

Today I am going to tell you the three simple steps that will allow you to break any habit. If you want to change something in your life there is only 3 things you have to do.

1. Decide

Decide and truly believe its what you want and you can achieve it. Invest real emotion if its something you want to go away from then make it as repulsive as possible when you think of it make it hurt you emotionally if you can. If its something you want to go towards then desire it more than you have desired anything or anyone before, eliminate the possibility of it not happening. Block out any objections you or anyone you may know may have come up with. Again invest real emotion. Your brain has a process called “The Critical Mind” in NLP terms, It is a gatekeeper to your subconscious mind if you can bypass this then you can change anything. More about “The Critical Mind” in another post.

2. Commit

Commit and truly believe you are going to make the change. Tell everyone you know, Post it on Facebook, Twitter etc. The more people you tell the more power you will give the change. It will make it harder for you not to achieve it and you might even get some support if you have REAL friends. Don’t worry if some people are negative or don’t encourage you, there is a reason for this that I will explain in another Post called “Tall Poppy syndrome”. For now if someone is negative use it, prove them wrong.

3. Take Action

Every thought, no matter how amazing or profound will remain a thought until you take action on it. Basically you have DECIDED to make a change. You have COMMITTED to doing it by telling everyone. Now you have to take some ACTION towards it. Do something, anything no matter how small, Don’t have that biscuit, walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Every small thing you do gets you closer to your goal. You can build on these things daily or you can really go for it either way you are already achieving what you want. Don’t worry if you encounter problems simply keep going and remain committed.

Hypnosis can help, you might consider one of my programs as a way getting straight to the subconscious commitment.

If You like this website please feel free to share it with your friends by clicking on the share with Facebook or Twitter buttons below or why not sign up for my mailing list below and I’ll keep you up to date with whats happening.

Regards

Jason J Scoltock

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What Causes Panic Attacks

The human body and brain is the result of millions of years of evolution, due to this, certain things have been hardwired into your brain so that you and your ancestors could survive the dangers of the world. It is true you are unlikely to be attacked by a saber toothed tiger but our fight or flight response is still there and can be useful in certain situations.

Modern day life, however, while free from saber tooth tigers has other dangers (or perceived dangers) that can cause us to use the fight or flight response. A Panic Attack is usually caused by your brain misinterpreting something as a danger, it tells your body to react like a saber tooth tiger is nearby, it releases adrenaline into the body which immediately causes your body to change, your heart rate increases (palpitations) and the arteries to your skin narrow causing cold sweats.

Meanwhile the person suffering these effects, looks around for a saber tooth tiger. Strangely, they cant find one so the brain evaluates the situation the person is in and finds something new to Pin the perceived danger to.

Here is the problem, the subconscious (or unconscious mind as Sigmund Freud called it) isn’t very good at deciding what to pin the reaction on. The result is, it can get pinned on to practically anything. In a lesser case it can be a spider or mouse, for example, causing a fear or phobia (more about these in future posts) but if it can’t find anything obvious it takes a few random everyday objects and pins it on them. These can be sounds, images or tastes. The problem is the person having the panic attack has no idea what the perceived danger is pinned on.

The next time that the person encounters these otherwise inoffensive items, in the correct combination, the subconscious mind remembers that it has pinned a danger to these items. Meanwhile, the person who is about to have a panic attack doesn’t recognise them as a danger and so is totally unprepared for the sudden adrenaline rush, cold sweats, palpitations and other unpleasant feelings associated with a panic attack.

Because people largely do not know what the triggers are, it can be difficult to un-pin them, as you would with a fear or phobia, instead NLP uses a technique to discover, as early as possible, the start of the panic attack and prevent it escalating.

If You like this website please feel free to share it with your friends by clicking on the share with Facebook or Twitter buttons below or why not sign up for my mailing list below and I’ll keep you up to date with whats happening.

Regards

Jason J Scoltock

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Overcome Emotional Pain

People can hurt us in many ways both physically and emotionally, however sometimes it is the emotional pain that is harder to get over. The reason why we remember when people are nasty to us and forget the compliments is because of emotion. We attach a strong emotion of hurt and this anchors it in our memory. We then re-enforce this strong anchor by playing the scene over and over in our mind each time attaching strong emotion to it. We literally “feel” the pain because we use strong emotions to replay it.

Next time someone is nasty to you try not to attach a strong feeling to it, imagine their words running off you like raindrops when you are caught in a shower you will be dry in five minutes when the sun comes out. If you find yourself playing it over in your mind, deliberately distort the memory Change it from colour to black & white. Make the image blurry. If you hear a voice change it to a ridiculous squeaky cartoon voice. Next time you recall the incident it will seem silly.

Likewise if you get a compliment no matter how small try to attach a strong emotion like love to it, appreciate it you will be amazed what this will do to your self-esteem and confidence.

If You like this website please feel free to share it with your friends by clicking on the share with Facebook or Twitter buttons below or why not sign up for my mailing list and I’ll keep you up to date with whats happening.

Regards

Jason J Scoltock

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Want to know a secret ?

If you are like me, you know how to lose weight, it’s simple eat less of the wrong foods and exercise more. If you are even more like me, you have tried every fad diet and joined countless gyms but have never been able to maintain the momentum to consistently lose weight in a healthy way. I would lose weight then go back to what I was doing and put it back on plus some. At one point I was nearly 18 Stone, I’m 6 foot 4, so people would tell me I could carry it but I was unhappy, I thought I had tried everything then I discovered NLP and a technique called Chunking.

Don’t worry Chunking isn’t an extreme purging technique and it doesn’t just apply to losing weight but for the purpose of this post I’ll explain it in a weight loss context. I realised that my problem was that the thought of cutting out everything I thought was nice (Fattening) and never having them again was just to big for me to commit to. Because I couldn’t commit to it 100% I couldn’t maintain it and would slip back to my old habits. Chunking is about breaking a large problem down into smaller components and dealing with each of the smaller components separately.

I first got myself incredibly motivated to get me in the right frame of mind and then started breaking my bad eating habits down into each area. For example, if I had a biscuit I would finish the pack so I started there. I committed to not have another biscuit and used NLP to reinforce this change. After I hadn’t eaten or even wanted a biscuit for 6 weeks, I moved onto chocolate, I haven’t had a Biscuit or Chocolate since 2008 and I am eating healthier and feeling better than I have ever in my life. Below is a picture of me and my wife Patricia 5 years ago and a picture of me with my daughter Daisy taken last week while on holidays. I hope you can see the difference.

Before – 2008

JasonandPatricia

 

 

 

 

 

 

After – Present day 

Jason & Daisy

 

 

 

 

 

If you are interested in other ways to lose weight why not have a look at my “Change Your Mind, Change Your Weight” Program

If You like this website please feel free to share it with your friends by clicking on the share with Facebook or Twitter buttons below or why not sign up for my mailing list and I’ll keep you up to date with whats happening.

Regards

Jason J Scoltock